Tag: mental illness

I Am Honored, Grateful and Desperate

Post author By Risa's Reality
Post date May 22, 2018
1 Comment on I Am Honored, Grateful and Desperate

Last week I was given a Humanitarian Award from my local Jewish Family Services for my fight against the stigma of mental illness. To say that I was honored, humbled and overwhelmed would be a complete understatement. It’s been 4 days and I have been experiencing a range of emotions. I knew I was receiving the award but I had no idea what I would feel after receiving it. I was extremely emotional the first couple of days, crying a lot, feeling so loved by supportive comments on social media that, again, felt quite overwhelming. I would walk by the award sitting on my kitchen table (we had not yet found a permanent home for it) and take a second, third and fourth look, always surprised to see my name on this gorgeous award. My anxiety would rise each time I walked by.

I began to question why I was given this honor. I asked myself, what have I really done to deserve this? I certainly am invested in my local Jewish Family Services and feel so grateful to be a part of their family. I write, I speak, I constantly post on social media. I share my experience of mental illness, of having a treatment resistant illness that has required invasive treatments. I am open, honest and do not shy away from any aspect of the topic of mental illness.

I then began to feel sad. I wondered, I have to do more, there is still so much more to do. How and what can I do to ensure that people hear me? It’s not working! I need to not only convey my experience but have people hear me, react, do something to demonstrate that they hear me. I need people to see the stigma and do their part to fight it. I felt angry and defeated and even retreated a bit over the weekend due to feeling disheartened.

While that strong feeling has dissipated, I am still feeling a bit defeated. I am so desperate for people to understand and not be afraid of mental illness that I feel lost as to what to do next. I am out there, there is no question about that. I will keep writing and share that writing hoping to connect with people. I will keep speaking about my experience as it is so vast but giving one speech does not come close to covering all that experience entails, not even close.

Patrick Kennedy was the guest speaker at the event and I am trying to use his words and follow his lead in terms of his never-ending fight against stigma and prejudice. His energy does match mine, I just need to look inside myself and recognize that familiarity. This is not an easy fight. Sharing myself so openly and without inhibition is almost natural and I plan to use that ease to continue my fight by sharing my experience. It’s there…in my heart. I do feel it.

As Jewish Family Services would say, I am going to Embrace Possibility.

Tags Depression, mental illness, stigma, treatment resistant

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Reality: EVERYDAYISMAY

It is May 1^st. To repeat, it is May 1^st. Today begins a special month that highlights the struggle, stigma, information, stories and so much more regarding mental illness. It is a month full of education, personal journeys, pain and healing. It is one month. It lasts 31 days. It lasts for 744 hours. It is a special month and provides meaning not only for those who suffer from mental illness but for the family members and friends, co-workers and basically, society. It highlights the victories in science in creating new treatment models and it offers a space for personal stories of struggle, pain and health. It isan important month and I deeply believe in it.

I want to go deeper though. Those 31 days are just that, 31 days. In my life, 31 days can feel like a never-ending eternity or it can pass so quickly, I am in shock when the new month begins. When I was ill, my pain was never-ending just as was the time.

My struggle during Mental Health Awareness Month is that while I strongly believe in the extra social media posts, educational opportunities, web series and individual openness of one’s experience, I also struggle with the fact that this also occurs outside of May. One difference may be that people are more aware that there will be more buzz about mental illness during May, but the truth is, the buzz is everywhere all the time now. I think this is such an important and valid point to make. The current push for pediatricians to follow guidelines to screen kids for depression is an everyday affair at doctor’s offices, the woman who attends therapy twice per week to work on her anxiety and the man receiving ketamine infusions to alleviate his severe depression are all dealing with issues that abound not only daily but sometimes in an hour to hour basis.

One’s mental health is a constant. Anyone who has a mental illness deals with a minute by minute existence that does not revolve around a calendar. Mental illness does not begin or end just because it is May 1^stand Mental Health Awareness Month has begun; it only continues.

My intention here is to highlight an important 744 hours during the year where there are many resources that are utilized to provide a voice to those with mental illness who may not have the ability to use their own. It is a month full of fundraisers for important organizations to continue their work to de-stigmatize mental illness and lobby political players to increase parity and availability of services. My family and I will participate in my local NAMI walk in a couple of weeks and we are proud to do so.

While I will blog, post pictures and quotes on social media during these 31 days, there is no substantial change to what I post in any given month. This is the point. I wish we did not need a special month to highlight the realities, struggles, political policies, treatment options, etc. when we should be doing this every month of the year.

My everyday life is all about my mental health. I start my days taking medications for my depression and anxiety. I have thoughts in response to these illnesses throughout my day. I may need to take Ativan if my anxiety reaches its peak which could be in reaction to almost anything happening. I see my therapist three days per week where I continuously deal with and work on me. I may put myself down for not making a connection to a customer at work and spin this in my head for hours. I may need to take an Ativan in the evening when my irritability soars. I may need to take deep breaths to calm my anxiety. I end each day taking my evening medications. This is every single day of my life. It is not merely in a bubble of time in the month of May. It is my always.

So, yes, let’s promote this very important month and do everything we need to do to affect others’ disinterest, misunderstandings and/or fears of mental illness, but, at the same time, let’s also ensure that people recognize that this is not merely a 31 day or 744-hour mission. This is life. This is certainly my life. This is not only about May for many of us; this is about our everyday existence. #EVERYDAYISMAY

Tags anxiety, Depression, mental health awareness month, mental illness, therapy

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Kveller: Why the Term Invisible Illness is not Enough

Post author By Risa's Reality
Post date August 10, 2016
No Comments on Kveller: Why the Term Invisible Illness is not Enough

http://www.kveller.com/why-the-term-invisible-illness-is-not-enough/

Tags anxiety, borderline personality disorder, Depression, invisible illness, mental illness

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