Sick…and Tired

You know that feeling you have the day after a good workout? Your stomach muscles are aching and you feel so proud? Well, that is NOT what I a feeling right now. My stomach muscles are sure sore but it is from the excessive coughing, not from any workout. I have been sick for a few days. The cough is now painful as my stomach muscles are yelling at me. I have not slept in a few nights as the cough is at its worse at night (of course). Last night was a bit better with longer stretches of actual sleep but today I am coughing much more and it is daylight. I am taking a prescription med from my PCP and will wait until tomorrow to be seen if it is really not better.

When you are sick your defenses are down, you are more vulnerable and you are an emotional moving target. That is me this week. I am feeling very down, have baby on the brain and am beating myself up (again) about not being able to become pregnant and give my daughter a sibling. While I know that these feelings will ebb and flow, it is just a difficult week for me. Being sick is one thing, but to add emotional stress certainly does not help.

I just keep thinking of what my mom always says when something bad or hard happens: “As Nana (my grandmother) used to say, ‘these are all things in life.'”
It is actually providing some comfort.

So for now, it is back to bad daytime TV (the Today show has really gone downhill!!) and taking care of myself.


Change in Plans

The transfer was supposed to happen on Tuesday but things don’t always happen as planned. This past Friday I had my last blood test and an ultrasound. The ultrasound was fabulous…the blood test, not so much. Apparently my estrogen was not high enough, so I had to increase it over the weekend and go back on Monday morning for a repeat blood test and ultrasound. While I held my breath all day waiting for my doc to call me I was wondering if this was a bad omen. I got the call with good news that everything is where it should be. So now I am readying myself emotionally for tomorrow’s transfer. I am making soup right now and watching bad TV (I took off from work today, tomorrow and even Monday).
I am feeling zen-like and am very hopeful. I am a type-A personality person so when things don’t go according to plan, it is difficult for me. I get over it though, luckily!
Onward…tomorrow will be a great day to get pregnant…I can feel it.