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Change in Plans

The transfer was supposed to happen on Tuesday but things don’t always happen as planned. This past Friday I had my last blood test and an ultrasound. The ultrasound was fabulous…the blood test, not so much. Apparently my estrogen was not high enough, so I had to increase it over the weekend and go back on Monday morning for a repeat blood test and ultrasound. While I held my breath all day waiting for my doc to call me I was wondering if this was a bad omen. I got the call with good news that everything is where it should be. So now I am readying myself emotionally for tomorrow’s transfer. I am making soup right now and watching bad TV (I took off from work today, tomorrow and even Monday).
I am feeling zen-like and am very hopeful. I am a type-A personality person so when things don’t go according to plan, it is difficult for me. I get over it though, luckily!
Onward…tomorrow will be a great day to get pregnant…I can feel it.

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Sunshine Award

Kasey, from StupidBrokenEggs, nominated me for a Sunshine Award! How lovely! Here are the answers to her questions:

My 10 Questions-
 
1)You could choose any 1 person to spend a day with – dead or alive- who do you chose? What do you do? 
Well, hands down it would be Barbra Streisand. I love her! That is second, of course, to my hubby and daughter!

2)What is your most cherished memory? 
Probably sitting at the kitchen table at my Nana and Papa’s house peeling and eating oranges with my Nana.
3)If you win the mega millions do you still work as well? 
Definitely, but maybe part-time.

4)Are you where you thought you would be 5 years ago? 
I never think that way: to wonder where I will be in the future so I just try to be happy in the present.
5)If you had a chance to redo one thing in your life without it effecting how anything else in your life turned out- would you?
Yes. I would have been more open with friends when I was going through a crazy adolescence.

6)Do you enjoy cooking for others more or having someone cook for you?
I do enjoy cooking but having someone else do it for me is always better!
7) Do you have a go to travel spot? Some place that you have or wished to visit more than once? 
I wish I could get back to Israel. I was there once in college and it is such an amazing place of history.
8) If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? 
Two answers: One home in New England, one in New York City and one in France…obviously I would need to win a large lottery first!
9)If you could redo school would you? Would you study something different or just study more? 
Probably study more…go for my Ph.D.
10)What or who makes you smile the most? 
My 3 1/2 year old daughter for sure!
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Cranky, Tired and Hopeful

I am now at the point in this crazy process when I am very tired, cranky and yet I am hanging on to hope. Today started my highest dosing of estrogen which is just not a normal amount of a hormone for any human being (as many of you other infertiles can understand!). My transfer date is next Tuesday, the 15th and I am readying my body and soul for that day. But, I still need to get through the next 7 days which is made more difficult when everything and everyone is pissing you off! Luckily my patience with my 3 year old daughter has been good but my poor hubby certainly suffers. He knows from experience what the hormones do to me but sometimes I wish he could experience this for himself…how utterly horrible it feels. Not that I wish this on him, but it could bring more understanding. The bruises on my arms from my blood tests are nothing compared to what is going on inside of me. I do worry about the long-term effects of being on these high doses of estrogen all these times. I will need to ask my doctor about this…of course, I hope it is all worth it but if it means a bigger problem in the future, that is scary. I wonder if the doctors even know yet what the long-term effects are since the technology is rather new, especially for women who have been trying for years and years.

I will keep trying to keep my emotions in check and get through this week, even if it means eating more chocolate!